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The Kenya-shire Set

Helen Tither
7/ 8/2008

THE polo-playing, champagne-swigging socialites of the Cheshire Set have long thought themselves to be the absolute model of taste and decorum.

And now it looks as though they are going to be proved right - with the launch of a new international finishing school.

Following the phenomenal success of her Tarporley-based Public Image finishing school, etiquette coach Diana Mather is taking the concept to Kenya, the first school of its kind in sub-Saharan Africa, where she says people are crying out to learn all the do's and don'ts of modern manners - the Cheshire Set way.

From learning how to walk while balancing a book on your head, to holding a knife and fork correctly or choosing the right length of dress, the young women of Nairobi are set to get exactly the same lessons in being a lady that Diana dishes out to the would-be WAGs of Wilmslow.

Because, she says, whether it's Alderley Edge or Africa, there is one over-riding reason that more and more women are coming to see her for deportment and decorum training. It's that age old story - bagging a man.

Modern tips

"The aspirations of ladies in Kenya, and around the world, are the same as they are here," she says. "They want to be treated like ladies by gentlemen. What I teach is, if you want to be treated like a lady you have to behave like one."

It was at the height of ladette culture that Diana, a former BBC presenter, set up her first modern finishing school, teaching girls aged 16 to 18 the traditional do's and don'ts of how to behave like a lady - as well as a few modern tips thrown in for a 21st century spin, such as how to answer one's mobile phone correctly.

While feminist-minded folk might have scoffed at the idea, it seems to have gone from strength to strength, with ladettes queuing up to change their ways and be transformed into ladies, spawning spin-off courses in the US and across the world. Next stop being Nairobi, after a well-off investor called in Diane to develop her own decorum school.

"I think it's taken off because people are realising the world is an aggressive place but charm costs nothing," she says. "It's ageless, priceless and classless."

Part of the appeal of the school, she says, is its Cheshire pedigree. Because, while good manners are international, the British are still seen as the ultimate rule-makers when it comes to etiquette.

"My parents taught me etiquette right from the word go - and we had a nanny who taught us very well," she recalls. "Simple things like sitting up straight and walking properly.

"That is a great advantage because everyone who wants etiquette training wants somebody British on board. Britain still is seen as the gold standard for manners abroad."

Cultural differences

With the new finishing school set to open soon, Diana has already been out to teach some new recruits the basics of modern manners and reckons it should be a big success. Bar a few cultural differences, she says the basics of good manners are universal.

"You do have to remember different cultural signs whatever country you are in," she says. "For instance, in the Far East, wrapping something in white can upset people because that symbolises death.

"In Japan, placing a business card in a back pocket is a big no-no, while you mustn't be too tactile and kiss women in India on a first meeting. You do have to be careful to read up on different cultures. But there is such a thing as international etiquette."

For Diana, good manners are second nature, having been trained in the etiquette minefields from an early age.

Her great-grandfather, Edward Weissmuller von Wimmis, was an envoy to the Court of St James in London over a century ago. He left a legacy of do's and don'ts that were passed down the generations to Diana.

Now she's following in her ancestor's footsteps by spreading the word about good manners across the globe - whatever dangers she encounters on the way.

"I think the most dangerous place I've been in was Nairobi recently. I've heard gunfire," she recalls of her many forays abroad. "But I've never really felt unsafe."

Well, it would be bad manners to shoot at a lady.