The Observer brings you the moving story of brave mother Judith Holmes, who lost her son Philip in a road accident just yards from the family home, and how despite her loss, she has made friends with the entirely blameless driver of the car involved in her son’s tragic death.
Through her Christian faith and the support of her community, Judith has rebuilt her life. Learn how a new grandchild gives her focus for the future and how donating her son’s organs means his memory will live on forever.
When she opens her front door Judith Holmes can point to the spot where her nine-year-old son Philip was fatally injured in a tragic road accident.
Philip died in March this year, a day after being hit by a car just yards from home. He had stepped out between a parked van and car.
For the first time, and with humbling courage, his mum has reflected on the impact the loss of her only son has had on her, his three older sisters, grandparents and a close-knit Huncoat village community.
"I’ve always lived on Station Road," she said. "I’ve driven past, and I know my sister especially finds it hard going past there. But I just see it as a fact, something that happened which I cannot change. I know that when he was in the road and I was sat with him it helped that he just looked like Philip, asleep. He didn’t have any broken bones and his wound was at the back of his head, so you couldn’t see it."
Judith, 41, has drawn comfort and strength from her Christian faith, the arrival of her first grandson Hayden Philip in June, and being a mum to daughters Madeleina, Emily, and Ruby.
Bravely, she has also made friends with the driver, who was not at fault in the accident, but whose life was also turned upside down five months ago.
And while she admits that until recently she would be unable to really talk about it, Judith is now starting to look to the future. Along with friend Chloe Mortimer, she is organising a charity dinner next year to raise funds for a portable CT scanner for the intensive care unit where Philip died.
She explained: "Because of his brain injury he had to have about three CT scans. We are hoping to get a couple of hundred people along to the event if we can."
At the time of his death, Judith was working at Philip’s school Huncoat Primary, but since then she has got a cleaning job at Blackburn College.
"I’ve kept myself busy," she said. "That’s helped and it’s kept my mind occupied."
Philip was a ‘cheeky’ child who loved riding his bike or his skateboard. His favourite band was Kings of Leon and he had an inquisitive mind, enjoying "blowing things up" in science lessons.
Judith said: "He used to get these little electronic kits and put them together. He had just started to get into football at school and he was also really looking forward to becoming an uncle. My youngest Ruby is going to Hollins school in September. She copes with it all quite well, much the same as me really, and she likes to go and play on Philip’s Playstation."
Last month two of Philip’s numerous cousins, Lloyd and Jordan-Ashley Scott-McCullough, completed a seven-hour charity cycle to raise over £700 for the Royal Manchester Children’s Hospital. Judith has also received invaluable support from the Kingdom Hall church. "They’ve been like a second family to Ruby and me," she said.
She added: "I went to see the driver and he wanted to see me. He was beside himself and was distraught, but we’ve become quite good friends. They’re a lovely family. The accident was just one of those things. The level crossing gates had been down at the bottom of the road so he would have been the first driver coming up the road. As Philip ran out the driver was just there. It’s hard but you can get through it, day by day. I just think you have to accept you cannot change it, however much you wish you could. There is no point leading your life thinking about what happened."
A black tie auction and dinner dance with comedian and DJ will be held at the Dunkenhalgh Hotel, Clayton-le-Moors on March 19, 2011 to raise money for the Manchester Paediatric Intensive Care Unit, in memory of Philip Holmes.
Tickets will be £40 per head or £380 for a table of 10, and part of this goes to the charity as well. For more details call Chloe on: 07976 790588 or send an email to philipholmesauctiondinner@hotmail.co.uk.
Philip’s organs give ‘gift of life’
JUDITH Holmes has revealed how donating her only son’s organs has given ‘the gift of life’ to five people in urgent need of transplants.
A letter sent to Philip’s family by the NHS reveals that patients ranging from six months to 44 years old have benefited from potentially lifesaving operations as a result of her "truly amazing" decision.
Judith has always carried a donor card, but admits she checked that there was no contradiction between organ donation and her Christian beliefs before agreeing to donate nine-year-old Philip’s vital organs. Philip’s heart was received by a two-year-old boy from the north east who was requiring life support on intensive care.
Both lobes of Philip’s liver were recovered, enabling a baby girl from Yorkshire to receive a transplant, as well as pioneering research into treatments for severe liver disease.
A 22-year-old north west man received his left kidney and is doing well following transplant. A 25-year-old Edinburgh man benefited from a kidney and pancreas transplant, curing his kidney failure and diabetes. And a 44-year-old woman is also progressing well following a lung transplant.
Judith said: "My faith has helped me through these times. We believe in a resurrection and then the people that you have lost will be resurrected, so that helps you look forward."
Donor transplant co-ordinator Lisa Francis wrote: "I do hope that you get some comfort from knowing that you have helped so many people and that time helps to heal the grief you must be feeling as a family."
