IAN Craney gives a lighter side to his Accrington Stanley team-mates who made history …


STUART JONES: "The farmer". He started off great for us but did not stay for long enough. We were all disappointed he left as he was a good keeper and we loved laughing at his West Country accent.

BERTRAND BOSSU: Ha Ha. The less said the better.

DANNY ALCOCK: Everyone calls him "Shergar" because when he is drunk that's what he says - for some unexplainable reason! Bad hair, bad suit but a great lad.

DARREN RANDOLPH: He was unbelievable - great lad and good looking too. Very suave!

ROB ELLIOT: Sensational keeper but looks like he has swallowed a hippo! He is the penalty master and has made some good saves. He is a funny lad who joins in all the banter and can take it and give it out!


PETER CAVANAGH: He is ginger and he is going bald but what a captain! He is an inspiration to us all and a great friend. I love him to bits.

ROBBIE WILLIAMS: Nickname Basil for reasons I can't explain! Curly nose but on his day is the best defender in the league.

ANDY TRETTON: "Tretts" or "Sicknote". I feel sorry for him as he has had an awful time with injuries. But he is a top player and hopefully there are good things to come from him.

LEAM RICHARDSON: Top lad. Looks like the fish, Nemo. Has had a great season and is a key part of the squad. Dresses quite well.

DANNY VENTRE. "Batman" because, like Batman's mask, he has a pointy nose and his ears stick out. He is also the Del Boy of the Conference and we call him and Phil Edwards "the rashes" as, in training, they are all over you and never give you any peace. Great asset to the squad.

MICHAEL WELCH: Robert Huth - the tooth. Excellent player and has been one of the big factors in why we won the league.

MICHAEL FLYNN: Flynny - never give him a bevvy as he changes! Always gave his all for us and was an excellent player.

CHRIS BUTLER: He has got the longest fingers I have ever seen in my life. They are frightening. He also never liked getting a wash! But he is a good mate, got a lovely strike and the best passer of the ball I have seen.

PHIL EDWARDS: Rash Number Two. Solid as a rock at the back. Likes the sunbed though and I think he goes on around twice a week. Great lad to have in the team. He calls himself "Lampard" as he thinks he looks like Frank Lampard - that's his chat-up line anyway!


IAN CRANEY: I don't like talking about myself but very proud and always happy about life!

STEVE JAGIELKA: "The Barrel" because of his shape. Always moaning in training but he is a top player and is good to have in the dressing room. Has a very dry sense of humour. I like him better now he has got rid of that spikey hair!

ANDY PROCTER: "Sick-note 2". He has been so unlucky with his injuries but he has still played a big part. He never got down about it and was behind the lads all the way. He deserves a lot of credit for that.

ROMMY BOCO: Sensational. Great lad. Best controller of the ball apart from me! Always has a smile on his face and I love seeing him as he always makes you happy. A good dancer and can now have conversations in Scouse!

GARY ROBERTS: What a talent - it is scary! Great footballer and loves all the attention! Has the biggest ears in the Conference.

ANDY TODD: The GHD man! Scores crucial goals and he is a funny man in his own way! He doesn't mean to be funny but he is. Never stops talking.

ANTHONY BARRY: Where do I start with my old midfield partner, Bazza? I love him to bits and he is a top player. He played a massive part in helping us win the Conference and I hope people remember the contribution he made. Looks like Janice Battersby.

MARK BOYD: He has fitted in great and we could tell he was a good player as soon as he came to the club. Needs to lose a bit of weight and stay off the kebabs late at night! Hopefully he will stay on and show what a good player he is next season.


PAUL MULLIN: Has a big head but is Mr Accrington. A great man on and off the pitch. Scores loads of goals and even tries to rob them off his team-mates (Woking at home!). Had a great season.

DAVID BROWN: Bit ofan alcoholic ... not! He is a great lad who has scored some important goals. He doesn't like spending money though - he is a skinflint! In fact, he, Jaggers, Tretts and Welchy all travel in together and are always moaning about the money!

ANDY MANGAN: Top lad and an impact player. Never stops talking and I would love to put him and Toddy in a room together and record it as it would be so funny!


THE GAFFER: Great character who deserves all the credit he has got for winning the league. Can't throw a punch though!

PAUL COOK: Nickname Barrymore as he looks like Michael Barrymore. Great football brain and I have a lot of respect for Cookey on and off the pitch. Saying that, some of the instructions he shouts at us on the pitch are the wrong ones and he shouts so loud we can't ignore him.

JIMMY BELL: Passion and pride. Brings out the character in players but he has a nose like a snooker ball.

ANDY DIBBLE: The Big Redhead. A great person to have around. Loves his job and gives his all in training.